Double or Quits

What’s the name of the game?

Double or Quits. I get both or none if I quit. There is no option of just One. But I cannot take out Mr. He who must not be named for his “image” gets tampered.

Why did you hold it in?

Because till last year I was not sure what exactly had happened. I realized that I could not figure out because I had forgotten. And then it took me a while to digest it.

Why didn’t you speak up back then?

There were way too many people. It was a chaos. I was struggling with a issue of my own. And holy Moly there were all these dignitaries – “Mr. He who must not be named”. More shock. How do you feel when all eyes are on you? May be I was stupid, I was timid, I was happily satisfied, I was shocked, I could not handle, I had issues of my own….however you all want to interpret.

It was a silly and funny story. You could have spoken up or asked someone?

Back then it was not so funny. Well may be for others it was funny. I could have asked someone? I ask the same – someone could have asked me directly before playing double game? But perhaps, that’s not the civil way to do things.

Did you get scared and runaway?

Well, not exactly. It was mostly a shock. I walked as if nothing had happened. I was in shock. But I was not allowed to runaway. People went out of rules to play this game. I was given a chance to continue to play and answer things from my point of you by hiding the stage – by not following rules. If I had to runaway, I would have gone long back.

Why are you telling now?

Because I have no hopes I will complete this. This whole episode took me on  an emotional roller coaster ride. It’s taking way too long. It’s becoming difficult for my family to maintain me anymore. I might take exit – I don’t know. I am tired of this split game, I don’t have enough energy left in me.

It’s way too complicated.





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